body shape.com

I feel horrible about my body. I am in shape, am told I am attractive, but I cannot help but worry about being fat or having fat on me. These problems increased dramatically when my boyfriend would always watch porn. I started exercising excessively and restricting my calories so I could look as hot as the girls that turn him on. I'm no longer with him but I constantly think about how I look and that I'm not good enough. I value other people for their personalities and their kindness but I cna't help but think that people are judging me by my looks. Its even hard for me to watch tv because I see so many attractive and skinny girls and I start hating myself and making plans of actions to lose more weight. this has been going on for years now and I want to feel comfortable with myself. What can I do? I don't have health insurance and cant' afford to see a counselor.